Paper Chewing Madness

March 11, 2008 at 10:17 pm | Posted in OhMidge Advice | 2 Comments

Oh Midge, since I was a kid I’ve had a habit of chewing paper, I know I’m gross. Twice this week a co-worker asked me for a piece of gum. I told them I didn’t have any, but it was clear they thought I was lying. I don’t want to look selfish, what should I do? images-1.jpeg___________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Carly from Pasadena, CA, OK so there are a couple of things that you can do. 1. You stop chewing paper. Start smoking instead. No, don’t do that, that would be worse. Just start chewing lint balls or something people won’t think is appetizing and that you can’t actually chew. Or stop chewing paper and don’t replace it with anything. Just get over it.2. You can continue to chew paper and when someone wants some gum, smile and say, “Sorry, I don’t chew gum. I chew paper.” Offer them a piece if you want to. Then go on with whatever you were doing. Who cares what they think and it’s the truth. 3. Go to CVS or wherever you like, and buy some gum. So when people ask, you can say, “Sure! I have some right here. Wow, I could chew this stuff all day!” And then do some type of “go get em’ tiger” gesture with your right arm. They’ll never ask from gum again and they’ll never know you’re little secret. I hope that helps some Carly 



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  1. ……………psycho……..

  2. Sounds pretty normal to me. I always need candy around to suck on.

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